10 Tips in Keeping Your Head On While Your Kid is Throwing a Tantrum
Nothing is more frustrating than seeing your little ones go from complete angels to “full-blown toddler tantrum makers “in just seconds. The worst part is that sometimes, you tend to snap and give into their fit and either give them what they want and or scold them.
Hey, it happens to everyone, don’t worry. I have had my fair share of screaming, crying, kicking, punching and rolling moment with my little one. (see here on the right hand side ;-))
What I have learned is that you need to be prepared with methods to keep you calm and collected during each tantrum episode. You have to be ready every day with these techniques because you will never know when your child’s next outburst will happen.
10 Tips to Keep Yourself in Control
Believe me when I say that tantrums happen and can happen to any child. This is not an unusual thing. So do not beat yourself up too much when these instances happen. More importantly, do not go crazy over your child’s fits and temper outbursts.
Tantrums are inevitable and they will happen sooner or later. So better keep these few tips that I have learned and am continuously mastering up until now. These bits of advice will help you keep your mind in a calm and relaxed phase.
- Let them have their tantrums
Allow the tantrum to burst out. Let your kid wear themselves out with it. Just make sure that they are in a safe and danger-free area. Allowing them to let out their frustration is a healthy way for them to ease out their “unfamiliar” emotions that have been bottled up inside them.
Children during this age are unaware of the “good” or “bad” things in life. That is why they will do whatever they want and how they want it. It is up to us to let them understand what they feel and how they must react accordingly and “properly”.
- Do not try to “out-anger” them
It’s basically your loss when you go head to head with them. Anger will never solve anger and frustration will never be addressed with frustration. Remember that you can control your emotion, your child does not have that kind of leisure.
Being the one that has a better grasp and understanding of things, it is your responsibility to “keep it together”. Yes, it is a very difficult task to do. But it does not mean that it cannot be done. You only need to know how to compose yourself and become more “accustomed” to this toddler milestone that your little one is having. Trust that “this too shall pass.”
- Always remember that they are still emotionally unstable
The reason that they have their tantrums is that they are unfamiliar with the extreme emotions that they are feeling. In addition, they do not know how to cope with it other than to scream, kick, punch and cry. Just let them literally “cry it out”.
You have to remember that each time these tantrums happen is your chance to have a teaching moment with them. So you need to set up a positive and calm atmosphere at all times. This type of attitude will “rub on your child” so that they will listen to you when you discuss how they should act.
- Keep in mind that they will eventually tire themselves out
Keep on repeating this mantra in your head every time a tantrum happens: “it will be over soon”. Tantrums will only happen for a few minutes and won’t last for hours. So just bear with it until your child gets tired out.
I have tried countless of strategies every time my child gets into her temper fit but this is the best and safest way that she can “vent out”. I would only have to watch her calmly and give her reassurance and a composed talk afterward. This not only helps my daughter release her frustrations but also gives me my “sanity” intact.
- Always have a gentle and calm aura
Like what I have previously mentioned, how you set the tone of the atmosphere can make or break your child’s tantrums. Kids like to feed off the energy around them be it positive or negative. So be very cautious when doing so.
Never give off a negative vibe or a commanding or angry tone. Kids are smarter than what we give them credit for. One they feel your negative vibe, they will return it with an even greater tantrum meltdown.
- If you cannot stand it, keep a few distances away
Having a bad day is inevitable. What’s worse is that sometimes, more often than not, your “bad mood” will be welcomed by your child’s tantrum. This happens all too often if you ask me. It’s like your negativity calls out another negativity so that these two “negatives” can mess with you and test your limit.
If you are also in bad mood and you cannot handle the tantrum that is currently happening, you can stand back. Get a few feet away from your child, or even leave them in the room after you have assured their safety. Catch a breath and calm down before you return back to your child.
- Do calming exercises
Tantrums can certainly be a handful for both you and your child with you having the most “damage”. That is why it is also important for you to always keep calm. The bigger problem is how to STAY calm all through the event. You need to have an arsenal of “calming methods” each time you go into your tantrum wars.
There are several calming exercises that you can do in order to compose yourself. You can count one to a hundred or even sing your favorite upbeat song. You can also do deep breathing exercise or close your eyes and imagine you are somewhere peaceful and relaxing.
- Only approach them if you see that they want you to comfort them
Toddlers are “small adults” still learning how to understand their feelings. I used the word adult because they have the capacity to learn. What they lack is the ability to comprehend and understand. That is why they let their emotions get the best of them all the time. It’s like stepping into a minefield if you try to console them in the middle of their outburst.
Never approach your child while they are on their “tantrum lockdown”. Wait for them to finish and totally stop their fits. You will notice that after the meltdown, they will be lying down, tired and with a blank stare. Afterward, they will look for you and stare at you with calmer eyes. This is the time you go to them and acknowledge their frustration and anger and console them.
- Don’t mind the onlookers
Tantrums can happen even in a public place. Do not fret and do not pay attention to the passersby’s that are witnessing it. Do not let their judgment towards you cloud your parenting method. Trust me, they have encountered the same ordeal but are too ashamed to admit it.
How you discipline and teach your child is your decision and choice and not theirs. They have no right to judge your parenting way and you do not need their “approval” with how you raise your child. Choose the best parenting method you feel comfortable with and stick with it.
- Keep praising yourself for a job well done
After everything has subsided and finally ended give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done. It is definitely not easy to keep calm and collected all throughout a tantrum episode, but you did it anyway. Do not forget to congratulate yourself and reward yourself with your favorite snack or chocolate.
Praising yourself is a vital part of any “emotional outburst” because you need to “keep the fort strong and stable”. This means that you have to assure yourself that you did a good job and that you did everything correctly and with a calm demeanor. A pat on the back every now and then can boost your “mom powers” and keep you always ready for the next tantrum battle.
Tantrum episodes happen to all kids, so do not be alarmed whenever your kid is currently blowing one out of proportion. Just always remember to keep a calm perspective and a positive attitude each and every fit your kid will have. Showering them with understanding will help aid in lesser tantrum issues and episodes in the future.